The First Date: Skip Trendy For Timeless

Finding the right place for a first date in New York can be tricky – even frustrating. There is such a sheer volume of variety in places – and, in kinds of people that you might be taking out. Does your date like underground salsa dancing? Heavy metal? Minimalist art shows? The raw food movement? By taking a swing at it and bringing your date to one of the more pigeonhole spots here in the city, you might really win your date over and make the night unforgettable. Or, your date might get the “emergency phone call” eleven minutes into eating seaweed next to a xylophone player.

So, let’s take the safer route and stick to a more general area on the first date. Even here you can run into problems. See, if you’ve lived here even a month you’ve realized that the New York restaurant and nightlife scene – just like every other kind of scene – is borderline unbearably trendy. Many people complain that following all the nightlife openings and staying on top of what’s hot is a full time job. Remember how blazing hot Marquee was for a while there? Yeah, tell your New Yorker date you’re taking him or her there for a night of dancing now. Cue the laughter. It’s impossible for a normal person with a life to constantly have a running knowledge of what places are hot on any given day. So avoid the headache by going somewhere with class, sophistication, and a little bit of edgy fun. These places are perpetually trendy, especially in the new dawn of nightlife in New York: old school, comfy, casual, and chic lounges and bars. By staying on this course, your date will be impressed by how “with it” you are, and how insider New York you are, and yet it won’t look like you’re just trying to show how unbelievably hip you are. Scenester is not the impression you want to give on a first date. Whether it’s always a true assessment or not, people on a date with a scenester assume said scenester is way too wrapped up in nightlife to have any sort of relationship, goes out and meets a lot more of the opposite sex, and just might be a bit shallow and/or superficial.

You can still show some insider knowledge and chic-ness though. Instead of going for a place that might only be cool for a week, go for the trend that’s been solid in the city for a couple of years now, and doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere soon: the Prohibition inspired bar or lounge. “Speakeasies” have been popping up all over Manhattan. These are bars without big flashing signs announcing their presence, so your date will be impressed when you usher him or her up to a non-descript door and suddenly introduce them to a hidden treasure. Gourmet cocktails are the draw at these places, places such as one of the pioneers of this trend, Milk and Honey.

Arguably the best spot for a first date is the somewhat new Raines Law Room, 48 West 17th Street between 5th and 6th Avenue. This bar is described by patrons as decadent, comfortable, and quaint. There is actually no bar, but instead a sort of open kitchen where you can watch your mixologist of the night engage in the art of the cocktail. You can do this from your comfy booth in a bar that has transported you back to the decadent 1920’s. This is the perfect date spot, since you and your date can actually settle in and be comfortable. You canreally relax, talk, and get to know each other. Being able to kick back and talk is the most important thing on a first date, and Raines Law Room will really set the tone and make that happen. Plus that very mentioned decadence will make the mood a little fun and flirtatious. There are even curtains at the booth you can close to really be in your own little world, and you can pull the chain at your booth to summon the waitress. There is definitely a sexy tone, but not overt. Plus, the cocktail menu is unique and extensive, and a different drink menu like this is a great bonding experience for a date. You two can pore over the drink menu and each get something different but that you both like, so you can try each other’s – just don’t go overboard with these deceptively strong cocktails, of course.

Your date will be so pleasantly surprised by Raines Law Room, and of course, by you. It is trendy in a timeless way, and the perfect place to unwind, get to know each other, and flirt. It is one of the very few bars in New York where you can sit – comfortably – for hours without being rushed, and where you can drown out the rest of the world in an overcrowded city.

Raines Law Room - NYC - 48 West 17th Street (Between 5th & Avenue Of The Americas)

Written by: Courtney Iseman - SpeedNY Dating Resident Blogger

The Bowery Experience

I usually hate going to meet people in hotel lobbies and bars, but the Bowery, on Bowery and 3rd , is the exception. The lounge area is never too crowded, very comfortable, and I’ve never had a hard time claiming either a table or a soft, velvety couch. The art work, design and fire place give it a unique, intimate feel, making it an ideal location for a date. And if you get there early enough and it’s warm outside, you might be able to claim one of the tables out on the patio area. Or, if you are unsure of your date or not that into him or her and want a quick drink, you can just as easily grab a stool at the back bar, and politely excuse yourself when the alcohol starts to make your date seem more attractive than he or she truly is.

The downfall is that the drinks are a little pricey, but spending more than you should on a glass of imported, red wine will only impress your date more. Also, the place seems to attract “celebrity hunters,” as many of them stay in the Bowery when they come into town, as well as TFBs, or trust fund babies, who travel there in herds, usually on week nights, to spend money…just because they can.

I recently met a man there for a blind date, and even though he looked like Ichabod Crane with Graves disease, as his eyes were 4 inches away from his face, I decided to stay with hopes of a clever conversation. When he sat down, however, I kept staring at his spine, which was horrendously contorted so as to short him about 3 inches. He noticed and blurted, “Oh, I hurt my back when I fell off a horse while fox hunting in Ireland.”

I looked away, nodded, but was immediately reminded of two things. One, it’s never good to stare at someone’s imperfections and insecurities on a first date. I mean, I’m sure he was nervous the way it was, and there was me, staring at his osteoporotic –looking spine while thinking I’d absolutely break him. And two, good posture, or near- good posture, is important. It makes you look confident and more attractive, and even if you have to spend your days in physical therapy and popping calcium supplements to attain good posture, it might be worth it in the long run.

The date didn’t go so hot, as he wouldn’t stop talking about “fox hunting,” and banking. Nothing dries me up faster than listening to someone talk about hunting and money simultaneously. I finally shut him up by saying, “It’s not really fox hunting. All you do is chase the foxes. It should be called fox chasing then. The whole thing sounds stupid to me.”

If, however, the date went well, I would have grabbed his hand and ventured over to The Bowery Electric, less than a block away, for some dancing. It’s a fairly new, trendy rock and roll bar which plays great music and often books quality live bands too. Perhaps, next time!

Bowery Hotel - 335 Bowery., New York

Written by: Erin Stair - SpeedNY Dating Resident Blogger