More Than I Bid For: First Date at Auction House

I recently went on a first date to a great place, Auction House, located at 2nd Avenue and 98thStreet on the Upper East Side. The atmosphere has a gothic, intimate, velvety feel and was ideal for cozy conversation. The delicious décor is refreshing and down to earth in comparison to most uppity joints I find on the UES, you know, the types of places swarming with men in La Coste shirts and investment- banker hungry women. The music is kept at a low, comfortable volume which allowed for an actual conversation free of sign language, charades and subsequent next-day sore throats, which struck me enough to exclaim to my first date, “Oh my Gosh! We might actually get to know each other!” ( My therapist tells me that shouldn’t be a novel feeling for me, which might highlight some serious issues in my dating habits.)

Some of the unsettling artwork might make one go “Hmm,” and there was a moment, given the dark, spooky ambience, when I felt like I was in an amusement park’s haunted house, but I’d rather that than the awkwardness of fine dining with a first date or the obnoxious club scene where I constantly found myself getting dry humped by sweaty men in striped shirts on the dance floor. As the night ticked on and I downed one too many glasses of red wine, I half expected Scooby Doo and his gang to bust through the front door and unmask an antagonist, but who was I kidding? My life is way too unlucky to be blessed with such random awesomeness.

My date wasn’t so bad either. He was polite, polished and respectful, however he did do this one thing that nearly triggered my irritable bowel : He kept glancing at the front door every few minutes, which gave me the impression that a psycho, possessive ex or current girlfriend was going to storm through the door and attempt to kill me. I tried to control my alcohol consumption just in case I had to keep my reflexes sharp, go into “ninja” mode and fight off a jilted, pissed off lover. The anxiety brewing in my gut served as a reminder to me that eye contact is really important! So men and women, if you are on a date, just remember to LOOK at the person you’re on a date with, otherwise you may do something dangerous, like serve as the impetus to a diarrhea episode.

Also, personal hygiene habits shouldn’t be discussed on the first date. In fact, hygiene should NEVER really be discussed. It should be learned through observations as the relationship flourishes. I mean, if someone smells, you’ll eventually figure it out. You don’t have to ask, “So, do you wear deodorant?”

Anyhow, my date said he always notices a person’s teeth first and asked me how my teeth were. I furrowed, felt uncomfortable, but my autistic characteristics got the better of me, and I tried to answer the question honestly. I said I had braces as a kid, wore my head gear religiously, but had budding wisdom teeth that were causing my bottom half to shift. ( Immediately after speaking, I wanted to slap myself.) Then I mentioned that I drank a lot of coffee, to feed a dangerous caffeine addiction, so my teeth might be yellowish, but I just started brushing with “Go Smile” toothpaste and expected a turn around soon. ( Here, again, I slapped myself and started empathizing with all the women born and raised in West Virginia who get asked this question on first dates. Geez!)

He went on and dictated his daily, dental hygiene routine to me, and went so far as to describe the way he scraped his tongue with a tongue scraper. I mentioned I never scraped my tongue but did thoroughly brush it. He frowned. I felt inferior and drank more. I also didn't get a goodbye kiss. Hmm.

In short, pass on the “hygiene” chatter.

Auction House - Upper East Side

Written by: Erin Stair - SpeedNY Dating Resident Blogger

The Bowery Experience

I usually hate going to meet people in hotel lobbies and bars, but the Bowery, on Bowery and 3rd , is the exception. The lounge area is never too crowded, very comfortable, and I’ve never had a hard time claiming either a table or a soft, velvety couch. The art work, design and fire place give it a unique, intimate feel, making it an ideal location for a date. And if you get there early enough and it’s warm outside, you might be able to claim one of the tables out on the patio area. Or, if you are unsure of your date or not that into him or her and want a quick drink, you can just as easily grab a stool at the back bar, and politely excuse yourself when the alcohol starts to make your date seem more attractive than he or she truly is.

The downfall is that the drinks are a little pricey, but spending more than you should on a glass of imported, red wine will only impress your date more. Also, the place seems to attract “celebrity hunters,” as many of them stay in the Bowery when they come into town, as well as TFBs, or trust fund babies, who travel there in herds, usually on week nights, to spend money…just because they can.

I recently met a man there for a blind date, and even though he looked like Ichabod Crane with Graves disease, as his eyes were 4 inches away from his face, I decided to stay with hopes of a clever conversation. When he sat down, however, I kept staring at his spine, which was horrendously contorted so as to short him about 3 inches. He noticed and blurted, “Oh, I hurt my back when I fell off a horse while fox hunting in Ireland.”

I looked away, nodded, but was immediately reminded of two things. One, it’s never good to stare at someone’s imperfections and insecurities on a first date. I mean, I’m sure he was nervous the way it was, and there was me, staring at his osteoporotic –looking spine while thinking I’d absolutely break him. And two, good posture, or near- good posture, is important. It makes you look confident and more attractive, and even if you have to spend your days in physical therapy and popping calcium supplements to attain good posture, it might be worth it in the long run.

The date didn’t go so hot, as he wouldn’t stop talking about “fox hunting,” and banking. Nothing dries me up faster than listening to someone talk about hunting and money simultaneously. I finally shut him up by saying, “It’s not really fox hunting. All you do is chase the foxes. It should be called fox chasing then. The whole thing sounds stupid to me.”

If, however, the date went well, I would have grabbed his hand and ventured over to The Bowery Electric, less than a block away, for some dancing. It’s a fairly new, trendy rock and roll bar which plays great music and often books quality live bands too. Perhaps, next time!

Bowery Hotel - 335 Bowery., New York

Written by: Erin Stair - SpeedNY Dating Resident Blogger

Flute Bar: A Parisian in New York

Nothing says romance like a glass of Champagne and no venue is more appropriate for a date than one dedicated solely to the bubbly cocktail. Flute, a Champagne bar owned by French Champagne ambassador Hervé Rousseau, delivers a romantic piece of Paris to the heart of the city. Couples can fit onto plush couches or lean into a small table while studying the extensive drink menu.

Don’t know a lot about Champagne? Impress your date by ordering one of the tasting flights. With three different types to try, there’s no reason not to share with you date.

Flute has two location in New York, in Gramercy at E. 20thStreet and in Midtown at W. 54th Street, as well as a location in Paris that opened in early 2008.

Flute Bar - NYC

http://www.speednydating.com/